Numerous studies on longevity have led to the conclusion that “married people live longer”. (1) While this contains an element of truth, it is a misleading conclusion when taken at face value. When the happiness of men’s and women’s marriages is evaluated separately and together, the findings point to the following for the future:
- The link between sexual satisfaction in women and marital satisfaction has been confirmed.
- Sexual satisfaction plays an important role in a happy marriage. A happy marriage also influences sexual satisfaction (this could be described as a chicken-and-egg situation). Furthermore, harmonious, fulfilling marriages contribute to a long life.
- Children who were cared for attentively during childhood and raised in a harmonious family environment are more likely to have successful marriages in their own lives. In this context, being married is not the sole determining factor for men. This is because a man’s lifespan depends on many factors. Therefore, viewing marriage as the primary determinant of a long life oversimplifies the issue.
- Men who end their marriages, particularly in their 40s and 50s, fall into a high-risk group in terms of health and should be cautious.
- A couple’s happiness is a sign of good health, but the man’s happiness, in particular, affects the couple’s future health and life expectancy.
According to the Anglo-Saxon view that was once widespread—that “a happy wife means a happy life”—this notion has been replaced by the idea that “a happy man means a happy family.” People who are in harmony with their life partners live significantly longer than those in merely temporary relationships. This is particularly true for men.
- It is beneficial for health and longevity when spouses share similar (common) interests. However, conflicts over fundamental beliefs, such as religion or political views, are detrimental.
- Having mutual friends and accepting each other’s friends is also particularly valuable, especially at the beginning of a marriage.
- In incompatible and conflict-ridden marriages, spouses are more likely to experience health problems.
Lawrence and colleagues, who studied the topic of “happy marriage, marriage, single life, divorce, health, and longevity,” reported that married people are healthier and live longer. However, this does not apply to all marriages.2
The researchers asked married couples to rate their levels of satisfaction as “very happy,” “quite happy,” or “not very happy,” and also included in the group those who were divorced, separated, never married, and widowed. They then assessed marital happiness, overall happiness, health status, and risk of death.
Those who reported that they were “not very happy” were found to be more than twice as likely to report health problems compared to the “very happy” group, and their risk of death was found to be 40% higher during the follow-up period. It was found that those who rated their marriages as “not very happy” had the same or higher risk of death as those who had never married, were divorced, separated, or widowed. Furthermore, the results indicate that overall well-being is a key determinant of marital happiness, better health, and longevity. Although there are numerous studies in the literature linking marriage to better health and longevity, it is clear that unhappy married individuals constitute the most vulnerable group. In conclusion, this study demonstrates that subjective well-being and relationship quality are also important for marital health.
Conclusion
A life partner influences a person’s quality of life, health, and life expectancy. For this reason, choosing a life partner appears to be one of the most important decisions a person will make in life. Decisions made at a young age under the influence of hormones have the potential to become a significant source of stress, particularly in relationships involving children. The next article will focus on divorce, remarriage, parental divorce, and their effects.
Sources
- Friedman, H. S., Martin, L. S.: The Longevity Project. 2011.
- DePaulo, B. Are single women and married men better off? Gender differences in marriage and single life: Still debated 50 years later [Online]. Access URL: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201701/is-it-true-single-women-and-married-men-do-best
(*) This article is adapted from the book *Hayatın Hakkını Vermek*, published by Doğan Kitap, with some modifications.
