The responsibilities of daily life and the necessity to live by constantly catching up with something in order to raise the standard of living disconnect people from their essence and reduce the quality of life. However, everyone who has reached their thirties knows that money can buy books but not information; it can buy sex but not love; it can buy watches but not time; it can find flattering friends but not friends; it can be a house that everyone envies, but this house cannot be turned into a home. We think that if we earn more money, we will live better, but we forget that the things we want the most are the things that money cannot buy. When families’ level of welfare increases, they long for a bigger house. Larger spaces increase the emotional distance within the house. Everyone starts living on their own screen, in their own room and in their own world, and over time, the emotional bonds of the family weaken. Gathering children around a table at mealtimes becomes a problem. Small houses are more suitable for giving the family a warm sense of home.
If success does not bring peace, it does not make anyone happy. Believing that you will be happy by achieving a position or a material result is like eating the bitter fruit at the top of a tree that you climbed with great effort and it will disappoint you. Success is an abstract concept and is related to the horizon a person looks at and the level they set their sights on. If you look above the line (status) you are at, you will see yourself as very worthless. On the other hand, if you look below the line you are at, you will see how many people among your neighborhood and school friends would like to be in your place.
It is possible to find peace in adulthood by being a mature person. For this, instead of pursuing an illusion such as “trying to be the best in the world”, it is necessary to adopt an approach that is both realistic and brings one closer to peace, such as “being a good person for the world”. Even if a person achieves material wealth and titles in their life and is successful, they will feel a pang in their heart. Happiness is not achieved with what is achieved, but with the meaning attributed to the journey itself. This is called “peace”.
Peace
Being peaceful means becoming stronger spiritually. Compassion, loving people, forgiveness, and helpfulness are the building blocks on the path to spirituality. A belief system based on religion also encourages and facilitates spirituality. However, spirituality is possible without religious belief. This is possible by having a strong conscience. Conscience means responsibility. A person comes into the world with a “body”. After the age of three, they separate their body from their mother and their “I” develops. Conscience develops as a person matures and imposes “responsibility” and/or “torture” on them for their inappropriate behavior. Turkish culture is not very successful in developing conscience. Because at family tables, the emphasis is not on responsibility to people and society, but on getting ahead of others with personal academic success. In addition, external conditions and luck are emphasized for success. When children bump into something and get hurt while growing up, the table or coffee table is “beaten.” Thus, the responsibility for wrong behavior is attributed to “external” causes.
The most important tool in terms of personal responsibility is chess training. Because, beyond its many known benefits, the greatest contribution of playing chess is that it shows that every behavior has a consequence and teaches that the responsibility for this lies solely and solely with the individual.
It is not common to find a public administrator, politician, sports director or someone from the art world who “apologizes” for their mistakes in front of the public. As a result, individuals develop an extremely “flexible” conscience regarding their behaviors that harm society and only look out for their own interests. The common characteristic of countries that rank high in happiness surveys is having a society structure consisting of conscientious individuals and with a high sense of trust.
Conclusion
A peaceful and successful life cannot be achieved by pursuing dreams. A person can achieve such a life by realizing their own realities, building their dreams according to their realities, and focusing their energy in the right direction. Because life develops wherever we put our energy.
(*) This article was modified and taken from the book “Hayalini Yorganına Göre Uzat“, which was updated in the Chronic Book.
